God’s been teaching me A LOT the past few months. Oh man, has it been a lot. Some days it feels like lesson after lesson can be a bit overwhelming. He’s gently been breaking me open, and He’s asked me look deep inside at everything that’s there. All of it. The wonderfully beautiful things about me, my heart and my person. And the not so beautiful, ugly, dark parts that I’ve unknowingly tried to ignore or keep hidden for a long time.
Because I was hurting. Because I was scared. Because I don’t like mess. Because of an intense need to protect myself. Because I was confused. Because I’ve been distracted. Because I didn’t feel like I had a choice. Because I cared so deeply about what others thought. Because I felt I had to prove myself time and time again, only to wind up still feeling unknown and empty at the end of it all. Because I didn’t feel like my voice mattered, because I was told it didn’t. Or maybe because if I really looked at the darker parts, maybe that would mean I wasn’t valuable after all. Or worse, not lovable.
Because I was believing lies.
I know these things aren’t true. I can tell myself over and over again that they’re not. That I am created in the image of God. That I am valuable and loved me because He tells me I am and that He gave everything to show me just that. I tell others these truths, but what I didn’t realize was how I hadn’t really let it sink all the way deep down into MY own heart. The extent of that love. And all the countless things I was doing to try to achieve, and earn, and win something that had already been won.
I thought if I worked hard enough. If I did all the right things. If I never messed up, then I could attain some sort of perfection, and that would somehow make me lovable. But the Lord, in all His graciousness, has given me new eyes to see things from a different perspective. One I wasn’t able to see before.
See, I’ve believed these lies since I was a kid, and somewhere along the way, the lies began looking like truth to me. I was so used to believing them, that I was confirming them to myself day after day through my actions. Through the way I’ve functioned. Through bad habits. Through fear.
But the thing is, they’re NOT true.
And I’m done wasting precious time, exhausting myself, trying to attain something that was already won by Jesus long before me.
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Stefanie Butler
Stefanie Butler is a storyteller in every sense of the word. She is a film and television actor, a stage actor, a proud member of SAG-AFTRA & AEA, a screenwriter, a children’s book author, a director, and is brand new to the blogging world. Stefanie loves collaborating and cares about telling stories that deeply matter, with people that matter deeply. Born in Atlanta, Georgia and raised all over the country, Stefanie graduated from Pepperdine University in 2006, with a BA in Theater and immediately began her film and television career. In addition to her acting credits, Stefanie has been writing, directing and creating her own content the past few years. She has written a number of short films, three features, two pilots, is working on a play, and is publishing a children’s book, “The Adventures of Tabby Abby”, due out later this year. Stefanie felt it pressed upon her heart to start sharing some of her story through this blog, including her more personal thoughts, and what it’s like to walk with the Lord as the head of her life. Doing that requires great bravery and courage. It’s hard and it’s messy and it requires a warrior spirit. So, Stefanie created this blog both for herself and for all the other warriors out there doing their very best to BE their very best. Her war cry: COURAGE, BRAVEHEARTS!
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MORE FUN FACTS ABOUT ME
I was born in the South and was raised by a Southern mom, so I’m always overdressed. I’ve been to over 1,400 baseball games in my life.
I am a thrill seeker who’s been skydiving, cliff jumping, scuba diving, and spearfishing. My all time favorite movies are any period piece, with an accent.
I have a collection of children’s books that I am in the process of publishing.
I consider myself a gypsy – my parents moved us at least 40 times when I was a kid. There’s nothing better than a good hat and I’d wear one every single day.
I am a tea fanatic – hit me with your best pot!
I bake at random hours.
I have insane respect for those who stand up for others.
My family is my heart.
I had a Japanese Tea Sensei for 5 yrs and can formally serve Chado, while wearing kimono.
I love to play beach volleyball and do Krav Maga.
I’m fiercely competitive, thanks to my dad.
I have an obsession with decorative pillows.
NorCal coast is one of my favorite places in the world.
I’m a crack shot with a shotgun and was given a handgun as a wedding gift.
My first trophy I ever won was for doing gymnastics on a moving horse.
I am of English, Irish, Italian & Icelandic decent.
I once traveled to 7 states, in 9 days, with 5 guys, 12 suitcases, and 1 violin.
I’m naturally blonde – and yes, blondes really do have more fun.
COURAGE, BRAVEHEART 
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